How often do you hear, “You need to prioritize yourself?’ What does that even mean? Drop everything and the heck with your family or loved ones? Clients often ask me about self-care. My response is a question: Are you driving your emotions, or are your emotions driving you?
At the end of the day, what would it look like if instead of saying, “I can’t” do something, you replace it with, “I am not willing” to do this or that? How does that shift your decision-making? Do you feel a sense of your power returning?
Emotions are our greatest asset and our biggest hindrance. Yet, we don’t recognize, address, honor, or tend to them. We have this internal guidance system, but we run on auto-pilot with an operational system we formed as children. According to Brené Brown, the average person can only identify three emotions: happiness, sadness and anger.
Friends, it’s time to tune in to what we’re feeling!
What emotions come up for you when you are asked about your self-care routine? Not how are you supposed to feel? How do you really feel?
If you are honest with yourself, you may feel the rise of guilt. This is the biggest block to self-care. Guilt sends us running in all directions trying to escape its discomfort. But I want you to sit with it for a minute, feel it, give it a moment. Say, “Hey, guilt, why are you here?
When I listened to my guilt, it told me I was desperately seeking approval from others. I heard the lie – that people will only love me if I perform to their standards. All I wanted was, “That is great, Holly!” I didn’t receive this from my parents, so I sought this outside approval everywhere. When I listened to my guilt, I saw the path of misery that seeking approval from others took me down. When starved for attention, even with the best intentions, we invite the wrong people into our lives and stay for the wrong reasons. We will never be able to get enough approval from others. It is exhausting.
What voices of guilt are you listening to?
What if we use this guilt to help us recognize where we have gone off course in our thoughts and actions – and uplevel our own awareness of our own behavior?
Self-care is a lifestyle. It’s every day, not just Sunday. It is creating better options within your day-to-day life. When we do this, we can better navigate life and experience emotions that feel good more often.
What are some of your daily habits? You may not consider them as habits or self-care because they are simply who you are.
What is the first thing you do in the morning? What is your routine an hour before bed? What is your self-conversation throughout the day? Where do you eat your meals? How often do you get outside? What kind of clothes do you wear? How do they make you feel? What do you do with your hair? Do you wear makeup? Why or why not? What does your living space look like? What about your bedroom?
Your answers to these questions tell you how you prioritize yourself.
I would love to hear back from you and share your thoughts.
In Beauty and Wellness,
Holly xo